August 1, 2008

The Little Engine That McCouldn't

Posted by Anika Brown at 12:00AM

• Comment Now
• Email
• Print
• Reprints
• Share

I know how wrong this sounds wrong --especially coming from a twenty-two year old --but John McCain’s age is a serious problem.

It isn’t that he is old. It’s the particular type of “old guy” McCain is wilting into. He isn’t wizened, insightful, or sincere like many elderly. The past month has revealed the senator to be delusional, mean, inappropriate, insensitive, and merrily out of touch with the rest of the world. Top those joyful characteristics off with an excessive sense of entitlement and McCain comes off less “Maverick" more like an angrier Grampa Simpson.

While Barack Obama was out touring -- and impressing --the world, a cranky McCain was left at home without the comfort of his adoring “base." In an effort to steer some much needed attention his way McCain made a number of appearances with the hopes of showcasing his superior foreign policy knowledge. Instead, what transpired was an avalanche of blunders and misinformation.

In a span of three weeks he confused the history of the surge, discussed pressuring the Somali government to end the Darfur conflict (Darfur is actually in Sudan), and talked about the tension along an Iraq/Pakistan border that isn’t there.

It sounds nitpicky, but these were just the tip of the inaccuracy iceberg.

The flub that has gotten the most attention has been his references to Czechoslovakia, a country that has been nonexistent for fifteen years (it split into the Czech Republic and Slovakia). These were not casual remarks. On one occasion McCain was essentially calling out Russia, a country we already have a contentious relationship with. With one simple mistake, a serious critique of a powerful nation was reduced to another ignorant remark from a dumb American.

Even more telling is that the presumptive leader of the GOP has been messing up this basic bit of information since 1994. In fact, during the 2000 Republican primaries, George W. Bush pointed out McCain’s frequent Czechoslovakia slip-ups.

When George “Nucular” Bush is fact-checking you, it is time to admit you have a problem.

What really opened my eyes to McCain’s growing senior moments was an event in Pittsburgh last month. While cozying up to the locals, McCain told a heart-warming story about his time as a prisoner of war in Vietnam. Tortured for information, the war hero tricked his captors by swapping the names of his squadron mates with those of his beloved Pittsburgh Steelers.

It’s a really an inspiring tale, one McCain has recounted several times. Except every other time the senator told it, including in his best selling 1999 memoir, it was the Green Bay Packers not the Steelers who McCain used to outwit his tormentors.

At first I assumed McCain was simply pandering to the Steel Curtains rabid fanbase, but he would have to be a flat out idiot to think that the truth about a well known and well documented event wouldn’t come out. It didn’t get national attention, but I am sure football fans in Pittsburg checked out this endearing anecdote.

McCain is a lot of things, but he is no dummy and wouldn’t risk losing face in a critical swing state. So what gives?

The mighty “Straight Talk Express” is now sputtering along the track like the rusty little engine that McCouldn’t.

It is shocking what a difference eight years makes. McCain was the most vibrant and engaging personality of the 2000 election. His honesty and willingness to stray from his party on reform issues won him the admiration of liberals and independents -- me included.

Sadly, he tossed out the straight talk after Karl Rove and his minions had their way with him. He has spent the last several years sweet-talking the neocons and reforming himself into Bush’s heir apparent.

As disappointing as they are, McCain’s two-faced tendencies don’t worry me. I came of age during an era of “Read my lips” promises, stained blue dresses, and phantom WMDs. Lying politicians, lying presidents, can be dealt with.

What truly scares me is the thought of a Commander-in Chief who has lost a step or two mentally and doesn’t know it.