Freaky Fridays

By Sex Goddess, WireTap
Posted on November 29, 2006, Printed on November 19, 2008
http://www.wiretapmag.org/sex/42878/

Dear Sex Goddess,

I've been going out with this boy that's two moths older than me and he wants me to have sex with him, but I'm not that kinda girl. I'm scared that he will leave me, so I told him I would. I'm afraid that if I do do something with him, he will get me pregnant. He said if he gets me pregnant, he'll leave me and the baby. I don't want him to leave me because I'm in love, but I don't want him to leave me if I get pregnant. Please help me.

Confused and afraid.

Dear Confused and Afraid,

Don't sleep with this selfish boy!

Sorry, I hate to come off as bossy but that's my knee jerk reaction. If his response to your fears and worries -- which are all on point! -- is to say he'll leave you, that's not the guy you want to start your sex life with! You aren't a bad person if you have sex, but it needs to be on your own terms -- not to keep a man, not to prove a point. Only because you want to, and you feel like the person you are going to have sex with is mature enough to go about it the right way. That means using protection to make sure unwanted pregnancies and/or Sexual Transmitted Infections don't occur, as well as making sure you feel comfortable with who you are sleeping with, that he could handle any potential outcomes.

Good luck!

SG

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Dear Goddess!

I really need your advice here, please!! I don't think it is my looks, perhaps, it is my height (5-5'') plus I'm divorced and presently unemployed … but I haven't been with a woman since August 1991. Honest, I've been beating off my own orgasm for over 15 years now. What can I do? Of course there are a number of brothels in the city that I live in but that is not my style. The only three or four times that I paid for sex happened during my time in the U.S. Army many years ago. I'm 56 years old now and I still feel the same urge felt during my early thirties. I think I know a lot about the female body, a body that I know how, where and when to touch. Please, throw me some advice. What can I do?

Tired Hands

Dear Tired Hands,

Oh how I want to help you. You know how they say that to fall in love with another you first must love yourself? The same is true of sex -- to really have the illest game you need to turn yourself on! It's time to fall in lust with yourself! I know tons of men who could be identified as short, who are divorced, who are having a hard time with the current job market, and who are still damn sexy and know how to rock it. Sexy is largely a state of mind, prowess, mojo. You have the number one piece of developing mojo, which is knowing that you can pleasure a potential lover. There are so many people who think that being fine is the ticket. Fine people who have no idea what to do with my body are such a turn off. But you need to put that knowledge into your vibe, so that when you go out of the house you carry yourself like someone who could turn a lover out! I recommend a mantra before you leave the house -- look in the mirror and say "I want you so bad" three times. When you believe it, all the good loving in the world will be yours. That's your first piece of homework -- get back to me and let me know how that goes.

SG

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Do you have a question? Email SG at SexAndRelationships@WireTapMag.org.

Rules:

1. I hate rules!
2. There are no stupid questions, only stupid hang-ups.
3. Pleasure came before political correctness, and so should you!
4. Love yourself first.

Who: Who I am is unimportant. I do, however, enjoy sex, dally in various relationships, and on top of that I am an organizer by trade, or perhaps faith. I declare here and now that I know as much as anyone about sex and relationships -- which is roughly nothing and everything.

Why: Organizers, activists, change makers, closet progressives -- people trying to save the world often have a hard time figuring out how to ‚ ¨¶ do it. Whatever it might be at the moment -- love, dominate, submit, indulge, deny, give, take, fight, let go, wonder, know. I secretly suspect that if everyone were able to find the freedom to really love and please themselves (not to mention each other), the world would be a much more peaceful place.

Click here to access all of SG's sex and relationships wisdom.

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