Ask a Sex Goddess

By Sex Goddess, February 6, 2007

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Sex Column: 'I fell in love with my life coach. Do I have to give her up? And are there any rules for what you can and can't ask for on a one night stand?'

Help!! I am super attracted to my life coach! She's extremely hot, and I fantasize about her, like, while I masturbate, which seems so freaky and I totally can't broach that topic with her but she is soooo hot and so helpful. Do I have to give her up?

Name Withheld

Dear Team Player,

What a quagmire! The life coach thing is a pretty big deal -- that relationship is really important, you put a lot of time and expectation and often money into it. If you can't address these feelings with her, then I would say you should give her up, cause that energy could seriously distract from the other work you are there to do. 'Give her up' might be the wrong way to put it -- maybe you could just change the relationship! If you can broach the subject with her and work through it, more power to you. Who doesn't secretly believe life would be better with a hot life coach?

S.G.

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Sex Goddess,

On New Year's Eve I took this girl home after much convincing. She was playing it pure even though I could tell she was down from go. When we did it, I asked for some things I particularly like. I don't get laid a lot -- I could get laid more but most of the time I just don't really feel like doing the work. So when I DO have sex I really ask for what I want: oral, doggy, anal. Are there any rules for what you can and can't ask for on a one night stand? Cause my New Year's banger flipped on me when I asked for anal. I want to get the most I can out of each casual wham bam. Please advise.

One Night Stan

Dear One Night Stan,

My motto is generally that there are no rules. However! When it comes to one night stands, my motto is, you are lucky to hit that, so act like you know. Maybe you could get lucky more often, I don't know, though generally folks who aren't down to do the work don't get asked to come back; 'lazy f&*k' is not a compliment. But when you do manage to dupe some poor dear to bring in her New Year in your arms, respect the gift and enjoy!

S.G.

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Do you have a question? Email SG at SexAndRelationships@WireTapMag.org.

Rules:

1. I hate rules!
2. There are no stupid questions, only stupid hang-ups.
3. Pleasure came before political correctness, and so should you!
4. Love yourself first.

Who: Who I am is unimportant. I do, however, enjoy sex, dally in various relationships, and on top of that I am an organizer by trade, or perhaps faith. I declare here and now that I know as much as anyone about sex and relationships -- which is roughly nothing and everything.

Why: Organizers, activists, change makers, closet progressives -- people trying to save the world often have a hard time figuring out how to ... do it. Whatever it might be at the moment -- love, dominate, submit, indulge, deny, give, take, fight, let go, wonder, know. I secretly suspect that if everyone were able to find the freedom to really love and please themselves (not to mention each other), the world would be a much more peaceful place.

Click here to access all of SG's sex and relationships wisdom.