Ask a Sex Goddess

By Sex Goddess, April 20, 2007

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Sex Column: 'Shame on me, I'm addicted to porn. Hetero, lesbian, fantasy, squirters, bondage, I love it all.'

Shame on me, I'm addicted to porn. I love the look of it, I love the sound of it. Hetero, lesbian, fantasy, squirters, bondage, I love it all. I'd rather stay home watching internet porn than go out and meet women! I masturbate to it -- it's hard now to come without it. Everywhere I look now, I see women in a variety of porn poses, it's taking over my mind. The thing is, I'm a big guy, hefty. I've never been handsome, and I know what I look like. So, I know this is the closest I will get to women that gorgeous and I don't want to give that up. How much of a loser am I, oh, perfect Goddess?

Average Addict

Dear Average Addict,

This is a funny world. There are some things that masses of people do which gain them acclaim and popularity, and then there are things that masses of people do that make them feel shame. I have observed that one is as much of a loser as one wants to be ... but porn is rarely the reason. Porn tops entertainment sales in this dear repressed nation. Now, I too love porn -- it can be so much fun! The internet has evolved porn so that you can have new content every single time -- progressive porn, porn shot by women and trans directors, porn you'd never ever want to see. What in the real world can top that? Nevertheless, the experience of having your desire sparked by porn is a repetitive one, and can become hollow. I am a fan of true variety in all sexual relationships, especially in your sex life with yourself. To that end, I would recommend taking a break until you get your imagination back, and until you stop seeing every woman bent over with a glass dildo. I am also a fan of finding your own image in your concept of what it is to be sexy, so if you ARE going to watch porn, here's a piece of homework: search for big men getting down with whomever you find beautiful. Call it 'My Body Type is Sexy' training!

SG

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Do you have a question? Email SG at SexAndRelationships@WireTapMag.org.

Rules:

1. I hate rules!
2. There are no stupid questions, only stupid hang-ups.
3. Pleasure came before political correctness, and so should you!
4. Love yourself first.

Who: Who I am is unimportant. I do, however, enjoy sex, dally in various relationships, and on top of that I am an organizer by trade, or perhaps faith. I declare here and now that I know as much as anyone about sex and relationships -- which is roughly nothing and everything.

Why: Organizers, activists, change makers, closet progressives -- people trying to save the world often have a hard time figuring out how to ... do it. Whatever it might be at the moment -- love, dominate, submit, indulge, deny, give, take, fight, let go, wonder, know. I secretly suspect that if everyone were able to find the freedom to really love and please themselves (not to mention each other), the world would be a much more peaceful place.

Click here to access all of SG's sex and relationships wisdom.