Ask a Sex Goddess

By Sex Goddess, October 11, 2008

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Can sex help regulate your period?

Before my girlfriend and I started having sex three months ago, she had never gotten her period regularly.Since we've been together and have sex on the regular, she's gotten her period each month, usually around the time that I get mine. She first got her period when she was 12, and after ten years and a short stint on birth control, nothing seemed to regulate her cycle. We're both pretty curious about the situation, but have differing opinions: I think the physical stimulation helps, and she thinks we have similar horomones that are just really aligned. I've heard about women who spend a lot of time together adapting to each other's cycles, and have definitely experienced it before with friends, but can sex actually help regulate your period?

Thanks, Ms. Curious

Dear Ms. Curious - Excellent question! There is a lot of information out there about womens' cycles. A lot of it is wrong, and a lot of it is hearsay or speculation presented as fact. The truth is that there is a great deal about the reproductive system that we do not understand, leaving us to theorize, guestimate, and hope. For instance, no one knows exactly what stimulates a pregnant woman to begin her labor and birth when she is full term, which is why a baby's due date is always an estimate that marks the middle point of a 4 week period during which it would be healthy for a woman to begin labor.

To answer your question, I have never seen evidence to suggest that sex can regulate a woman's period - which isn't to say that this evidence doesn't exist. Its just never come across my pedestal. There is a great deal of evidence that suggests that proximity between women has a significant effect on their cycles. This is because the fertility cycle - the occurence of ovulation and menstruation that usually happens over the course of a 4-5 week period - is itself regulated by the hormones estrogen and progesterone, and these hormones are known to be influenced by external circumstances - including stress, diet, and (you guessed it) other hormones.

On one level, you are both right. Your close proximity - enhanced by your shared sex life - has undoubtedly brought your hormones into alignment. So pat yourselves on the bum, and keep it up - having a regular cycle is very healthy for your girlfriend, and it is much better for her to achieve regularity through healthy means like sex than through hormonal contraceptives, the use of which carry numerious risks.

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Do you have a question? Email SG at SexAndRelationships@WireTapMag.org.

Rules:

1. I hate rules!

2. There are no stupid questions, only stupid hang-ups.

3. Pleasure came before political correctness, and so should you!

4. Love yourself first.

Who: Who I am is unimportant. I do, however, enjoy sex, dally in various relationships, and on top of that I am an organizer by trade, or perhaps faith. I declare here and now that I know as much as anyone about sex and relationships -- which is roughly nothing and everything.

Why: Organizers, activists, change makers, closet progressives -- people trying to save the world often have a hard time figuring out how to ... do it. Whatever it might be at the moment -- love, dominate, submit, indulge, deny, give, take, fight, let go, wonder, know. I secretly suspect that if everyone were able to find the freedom to really love and please themselves (not to mention each other), the world would be a much more peaceful place.